The Malaysian population census on 2010 showed that 2.5 millions above the age of 25 were unmarried. They were either never married, divorced or widows.
The statistics show that out of 2.5million, 64.4 were men and 35.6% were women. The average marrying age for men were 28 and for women was 25.
A further survey by the ministry showed that 32% of the respondents were never married, the majority of whom are men (56%) and women (44%).
Among the reasons quoted for not marrying are:
a. They have not met any suitable candidates (19%)
b. Career commitment (13%)
c. Family Commitment (7%)
Currently, there are a number of private agencies that operate the match making companies. The situation for Malaysian are still under control, as the population is still growing, unlike some other nation like Singapore.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
way to divorce
I was reading with shock on the incidents and cases that lead the way to divorce.
In the first case, the couple is involved in a divorce proceeding when the husband accused his wife of being a man. Without the details and fact of the case, it does sound odd to me, if you are married to your wife, you would know it straight on the first night whether she is a man or not.
It is certainly odd if you were to marry her in 2009, and 3 years later you have a doubt that she is a man, and want a DNA test to be done to check her gender. The husband is elderly at 60 and the wife is close to 40. It is unknown what had transpired that lead to the accusation. The open accusation had caused misery to the wife, who claimed that it has affected her business.
In another case, the wife can no longer tolerate the abuse. What is surprising is that she had suffered in silence for six years. The beating started as early as one month after the marriage. The cruelty knows no limit. Even when she was bearing the child of the husband, she was beaten and that had cause a number of miscarriage. She had to force herself to make the police reports and her husband had agreed to divorce her.
There two cause are two cruel way to create the need to divorce and in both cases, they were at the expense of the poor ladies.
In the first case, the couple is involved in a divorce proceeding when the husband accused his wife of being a man. Without the details and fact of the case, it does sound odd to me, if you are married to your wife, you would know it straight on the first night whether she is a man or not.
It is certainly odd if you were to marry her in 2009, and 3 years later you have a doubt that she is a man, and want a DNA test to be done to check her gender. The husband is elderly at 60 and the wife is close to 40. It is unknown what had transpired that lead to the accusation. The open accusation had caused misery to the wife, who claimed that it has affected her business.
In another case, the wife can no longer tolerate the abuse. What is surprising is that she had suffered in silence for six years. The beating started as early as one month after the marriage. The cruelty knows no limit. Even when she was bearing the child of the husband, she was beaten and that had cause a number of miscarriage. She had to force herself to make the police reports and her husband had agreed to divorce her.
There two cause are two cruel way to create the need to divorce and in both cases, they were at the expense of the poor ladies.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Marriage Style
A leading psychologists who spent 30 year of her life doing research on divorce cases, has classified marriage into 5 different styles. The styles has something to do with the way the couple communicate, the way they establish their roles and responsibility and how they look up onto each other.
According to her research, the marriage style that most likely DO NOT ended in divorce are the cohesive marriage and the traditional marriage. However always bear in mind of the social setting of the research, which was conducted on European community in USA. This may affect the validity of the result if you happen to be of different social background.
The 5 styles are as follows..
1. Traditional marriage - This is the style of your grandparents in the old days. The husband is the bread winner in the ruler of the house. The wife looks after the house, cook the food and take care of the children. This style is likely do not end in divorce. However the research shows that the couple are not happy. I wonder why?. This style of marriage work well if both the spouse keep to their role.If the role changes, the stability of the marriage is affected.
2. Cohesive Marriage - This looks like a part time marriage. Both the husband and wife have different world of their own, each pursuing separate career, different interests or different circles of friends, but at the end of the day ( or weeks or months) they will fall back into each others arm. They provide the mutual support and draw the strength for each other.
Most modern couple idealize this marriage. However the key point for success is to keep faithful and true to each other.
3. Disengaged Marriage - This is the style most common to successful professional. The marriage is only symbolic, as they are so self-sufficient and do not really need each other. They are not really interested in each other. They too rarely fight, as fighting and arguments require the couple to be engaged. Most of the time they live like two separate individual and if they are divorced, thee dont seem to be too be change to their style
4. Operatic Marriage - This is for emotionally volatile persons. Seem to be interesting to look from outside but unlikely to be nice to be in. They seem to have the highest sexual satisfaction score, even if they fight, they are likely to end up with sex.
5. Distant Marriage - This is likely to end up in divorce. The spouse build up barrier around self to protect against the spouse. For example, the wife want to discuss an issue, the husband does not want it, she withdraw and take his action to mean he is not interested in her. Her action cause him to be resentful, make him cold and bitter.
If there is no channel to open the communication, it can get worst. Normally some item of common interest will re-link couple. Issues such as children, or something they share dearly, can restart to fire the relationship..
Well, which is your marriage style?. There are always ways to make it better.
According to her research, the marriage style that most likely DO NOT ended in divorce are the cohesive marriage and the traditional marriage. However always bear in mind of the social setting of the research, which was conducted on European community in USA. This may affect the validity of the result if you happen to be of different social background.
The 5 styles are as follows..
1. Traditional marriage - This is the style of your grandparents in the old days. The husband is the bread winner in the ruler of the house. The wife looks after the house, cook the food and take care of the children. This style is likely do not end in divorce. However the research shows that the couple are not happy. I wonder why?. This style of marriage work well if both the spouse keep to their role.If the role changes, the stability of the marriage is affected.
2. Cohesive Marriage - This looks like a part time marriage. Both the husband and wife have different world of their own, each pursuing separate career, different interests or different circles of friends, but at the end of the day ( or weeks or months) they will fall back into each others arm. They provide the mutual support and draw the strength for each other.
Most modern couple idealize this marriage. However the key point for success is to keep faithful and true to each other.
3. Disengaged Marriage - This is the style most common to successful professional. The marriage is only symbolic, as they are so self-sufficient and do not really need each other. They are not really interested in each other. They too rarely fight, as fighting and arguments require the couple to be engaged. Most of the time they live like two separate individual and if they are divorced, thee dont seem to be too be change to their style
4. Operatic Marriage - This is for emotionally volatile persons. Seem to be interesting to look from outside but unlikely to be nice to be in. They seem to have the highest sexual satisfaction score, even if they fight, they are likely to end up with sex.
5. Distant Marriage - This is likely to end up in divorce. The spouse build up barrier around self to protect against the spouse. For example, the wife want to discuss an issue, the husband does not want it, she withdraw and take his action to mean he is not interested in her. Her action cause him to be resentful, make him cold and bitter.
If there is no channel to open the communication, it can get worst. Normally some item of common interest will re-link couple. Issues such as children, or something they share dearly, can restart to fire the relationship..
Well, which is your marriage style?. There are always ways to make it better.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
marriage detective
The increase in the infidelity rate has cause the increase of marriage detective.
The managing director of one of the private investigator agency, KS Solution (not the real name) confessed that 90% of his business is doing the job for the husbands or wives. They are either checking to prove a point or tracking the status of the spouse.Proving a case is critical in the divorce proceeding and the financial rewards is quite good. In some cases, proving that your spouse is unfaithful will decide the fate of the children's custody.
A survey by Durex, had shown that Malaysia ranked third in infidelity ranking out of the 36 countries. Thirty three percent of men interviewed said that they cheated their wives at least once and surprisingly 39% of the women are doing the same. Of course there are many clarification needed to be be done, such as the method of interview. If you so a phone survey, it exclude 50% of the groups that do not have phone. If you do it in English Language, the it exclude 70% of the population who are not English speakers.
The marriage detectives are earning a handsome income. They are charging anything between RM1000 to 1500 per day. According to the agencies, there are high expenses incurred. The tracking of the spouses need expensive equipment to take the pictures and sometime record the conversation that can be used in the court of law. In certain cases, the investigator has to go international, to Singapore and Thailand tracking the suspects.
According to a local psychologist, the increase of the infidelity had alot to do with the current change in the social life and the technology. It is easier to meet other people now, with plenty of opportunities with the social media. The ladies are more exposed and not limited to house chores like what it use to be 50 years ago. So, it is quite natural to be attracted to people of the ideal character, and opportunities for private relationship is wisely opened. This also mean, more jobs for private marriage detective.
The managing director of one of the private investigator agency, KS Solution (not the real name) confessed that 90% of his business is doing the job for the husbands or wives. They are either checking to prove a point or tracking the status of the spouse.Proving a case is critical in the divorce proceeding and the financial rewards is quite good. In some cases, proving that your spouse is unfaithful will decide the fate of the children's custody.
A survey by Durex, had shown that Malaysia ranked third in infidelity ranking out of the 36 countries. Thirty three percent of men interviewed said that they cheated their wives at least once and surprisingly 39% of the women are doing the same. Of course there are many clarification needed to be be done, such as the method of interview. If you so a phone survey, it exclude 50% of the groups that do not have phone. If you do it in English Language, the it exclude 70% of the population who are not English speakers.
The marriage detectives are earning a handsome income. They are charging anything between RM1000 to 1500 per day. According to the agencies, there are high expenses incurred. The tracking of the spouses need expensive equipment to take the pictures and sometime record the conversation that can be used in the court of law. In certain cases, the investigator has to go international, to Singapore and Thailand tracking the suspects.
According to a local psychologist, the increase of the infidelity had alot to do with the current change in the social life and the technology. It is easier to meet other people now, with plenty of opportunities with the social media. The ladies are more exposed and not limited to house chores like what it use to be 50 years ago. So, it is quite natural to be attracted to people of the ideal character, and opportunities for private relationship is wisely opened. This also mean, more jobs for private marriage detective.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Singapore Cheating Wives
I was reading the newspaper posting that the Singapore cheating wives outnumber the husbands. I can hardly believe what I was reading.
The data was collected base on the number of divorce cases handled by the lawyers, the number involving the wives exceeded that on men. In my opinion, this is not a direct indicator on the marriage affairs. In the traditional Asian culture, the affairs were the game of the husbands. It had been the men that were the bread winner of the families and the wife were the homemakers, staying at home and were looking after the children.
However the trend has changed, the number of women pursuing career is increasing. In some countries, the number of ladies in local universities are by far outnumber the men. This is a worrying trend as these women will be flooding the job market. This will mean that women will have more chance to be in contact with others.
Promiscuity is catching the headlines in Singapore. There were case of doubling the affairs and corruption.
The cases of tit for tat cases is surfacing, there are some ladies who would respond to the affairs of the husbands by having their own external pleasure. "If he can do it, why can't I". Affluence does not come without cost. The ladies are more independent now. They are not afraid to face the consequence of their actions.
It is not uncommon to see the shift of power where the wife is the main bread earner and the boss in the house which helps to produce more of the singapore cheating wives
The data was collected base on the number of divorce cases handled by the lawyers, the number involving the wives exceeded that on men. In my opinion, this is not a direct indicator on the marriage affairs. In the traditional Asian culture, the affairs were the game of the husbands. It had been the men that were the bread winner of the families and the wife were the homemakers, staying at home and were looking after the children.
However the trend has changed, the number of women pursuing career is increasing. In some countries, the number of ladies in local universities are by far outnumber the men. This is a worrying trend as these women will be flooding the job market. This will mean that women will have more chance to be in contact with others.
Promiscuity is catching the headlines in Singapore. There were case of doubling the affairs and corruption.
The cases of tit for tat cases is surfacing, there are some ladies who would respond to the affairs of the husbands by having their own external pleasure. "If he can do it, why can't I". Affluence does not come without cost. The ladies are more independent now. They are not afraid to face the consequence of their actions.
It is not uncommon to see the shift of power where the wife is the main bread earner and the boss in the house which helps to produce more of the singapore cheating wives
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