finding love again

I HAD a friend who passed away suddenly at the age of 56, leaving behind a wife, son and daughter. The family did not know what to do. Since my wife also passed away this year, I had some experience in handling the situation. After a week, their children invited me to their house to handle some administrative matters like applying for the letter of administration and pension papers. My friend had left a will and they had a lawyer to manage the matters.

The real problem was the wife who was solely dependent on the husband for everything, although she is a school teacher. She calls me now and then to ask for help. Finally, I got a counsellor to advise her. This did not help much as she really missed her husband.

I made it a point to visit her daily for about an hour, and made her talk about her problems. As time passed, she realised that she had to make decision in her life. I also began to understand her problem. She lives in a big house with only the television for company. I suggested she get a radio/CD player so that she could listen to beautiful music. She received the arrears of husband’s pension and the letter of administration from her lawyers, and her condition began to improve.

It has now been eight months since her husband’s death. One day, she told me she wanted to buy me lunch for all my help, but I was reluctant to go out as that might give the public the wrong impression. I suggested instead that she cook at home, and when I visited her for dinner, she looked as happy as she did before her husband’s death.

We finished a whole bottle of wine and as I was about to leave, she kissed me and asked me to stay the night. This scared me a bit but I did so anyway. She spoke about personal matters and told me that she wanted to have sex.

I agreed and from then on, we would have sex at least once a month. We are like “husband and wife” then and are now thinking of getting married because she can benefit from my pension. We had a fair discussion of our future, our children and the property we have. So far, things have been fine for us. We have consulted a lawyer for advice.

We have told our children of our intention and they are not happy. We are leaving things to fate to take its course.

Objection

AS you and your lady are widowed and of an age that do not need consent, why should the children object? Rightfully, they should be happy that you have found love, passion and companionship in your golden years.

You have done everything you could to avoid financial and social complications. It’s time for you to get married again, relax and enjoy time together with your wife. Yes, let fate take its course. No one has any good reason to complain or think it’s a bad idea. Would your children take care of you when you are ill and lonely? In today’s rat race, everyone seems to be busy. Old folks are put away because there is not enough time and money to care for them.

Do not allow selfish behaviour to mar your joy. Do not feel obligated to even explain your intentions. Marriage is a joyful union between two people. Regardless of age, it is a celebration of the start of living with someone cherished. People who love and care about you should only be too glad to give their blessings.