Oily dilemma

Sunday April 26, 2009



I’VE been living with this girl for over a decade. Lately, she has been applying olive oil and vinegar over her whole body before going to bed. I have talked to her about the rancid smell in our bedroom and the strong odour from her body.

One night, I couldn’t bear it any longer and opened the windows. She could not bear the discomfort of not having airconditioning, so she slept in the spare bedroom.

I recall the letter by Seeking Faith (‘Tough love’, Heart & Soul, March 8), who mentioned that her parents don’t sleep in the same bedroom. Is this how it starts? One of the partners moves to the spare room following a disagreement, never to come back?

This lasted a couple of nights until we had a serious discussion, after which we made up. She agreed not to add the vinegar, but the smell is still there. It prevents me from giving her our usual goodnight kiss. It is a turn-off and we sleep without touching each other every night.

I know olive oil is good for the skin. I’ve tried applying it on my face but it does not help our situation. I have decided to leave the windows open for ventilation for now.

But one of us sleeping in the spare bedroom is not the solution ‑ might as well move out. We have no kids and there are no other complications. How do I find counsellors who can advise us both?

Olive Oil

YOU don’t need counsellors. Just good sense and compromise should do. Anyway, who wants to sleep with greasy olive oil?

While love supports tolerance and patience, perhaps your gal is stretching her beauty routine a bit far. If it means sleeping in separate rooms, you should be heard.

Frankly, you have been great. Using the same gunk to share her experience marks you as one of the best fellows a woman could find. If your gal doesn’t appreciate this, then vanity has become a vice.

She should really know better than to risk your love. No touching, no hugs and no kisses during the night spell impending doom. Passion has waned, romance has been doused. Sleeping in the spare room is telling a lover to split.

It’s time you tell her the truth rather than try to pretend love is still sweet, albeit oily. Maybe she is silly and unaware. Or perhaps she is taking too much for granted.

There are many ways to maintain good skin and you may want to suggest that she tries alternative treatments. Offer to pay for a course or some less sticky option. Tell her she is lovely and does not need to follow magazine tips. Or buy a magazine that gives better tips.

It’s obvious that you love and pamper her. But better to lay down the rules than suffer hurt and heartbreak when love seeps away.

Dear Thelma
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