unwanted affairs - Once bitten

Sunday March 1, 2009

I HAVE been working in my present company since 2006. I met this girl, SY in August 2006 when she joined the company. She is a nice girl. She lives in our company’s girl hostel. After seeing each other for a long time, I fell in love with this girl. One day, I offered to drive her home from work and she accepted the offer. From that day onwards, I would drive her home every night after work.

After a long time, many people asked me to express my love to her but I was scared. I had many chances to express my feelings, since we always had lunch together as well. Finally, after Chinese New Year 2007, she resigned from the company. Two nights before her last day, I expressed my love to her via SMS because I was too scared to talk to her. After taking a day to reply, she rejected my love because she said that she was not my type ... and my heart broke.

Until now, I still feel sad. Whenever I go to places that I have been out with her before, I will be saddened. This experience has made me scared to express my love to other girls. Thelma, please help me out. I still miss her and it makes me scared to attempt to find a new love in the future.

Scared

IF you continue to be scared, forget love. How did you expect a girl to respond to your sms? No woman would feel secure with a man who does not even have the guts to express his love in person. What was your fear? Rejection? A slap on the face? Think about it and ask yourself the reason for your cowardly behaviour.

You managed to get the gal to ride in your car every night, lunched with you and yet you were afraid to let her know how you felt. When she told you she was not your type, you slunk away without trying to convince her she’s perfect for you.

Frankly, you were a fool. Live like this and you may as well hide in the well. There are so many opportunities for a young man like you but where is the persistence, determination and confidence to fight for what you want?

What have you got to lose by telling a girl you love her? And worse, you dare think that this is the end and you are ‘scared’ to try for love again. Sorry but few can empathise with such a defeatist attitude. No one could fault a guy for trying to find love but no one feels sorry for someone who lacks courage.

If you miss your gal, think of her all the time, what is stopping you from getting in touch with her? Ask her out for lunch, dinner and a movie. Send her flowers, chocolates and stir her heart with passion and sincerity.

If she is truly not interested, stop moping around the places you had shared with her. Move on and get on with living and loving. Never feel sorry for yourself or live with regrets and fear. People who succeed never give up without trying.